Crazy Times

Remember how last Monday I was sick? I saw lights and got light headed and threw up all night. Well, apparently it is day related because the lights and lightheaded-ness came back again this Monday around 4 pm.  

As I was at work I decided to go to the doctor’s office to check my blood pressure… it was normal 120/80.  So she told me it might be my blood glucose.  She pinched my finger to check it out and behold, it was low. For an 80-90 desired range I had 78.  It’s not too much but it was low.  

She said I had to add more sugar to my diet like honey, agave, jams, etc. More sugar? Really!?!  How is that proper advice from a medical professional, when added sugar is linked to heart disease and metabolic syndrome, diabetes and insulin resistance?  

This is how they should sell it!

I don’t want to add direct sugars to my food, I've been working so hard to ditch it, but I can definitely up my complex carb intake.

After a couple of days with some more whole grains and an extra portion of fruit I've been feeling great.  Perhaps I was under eating some things, but I still believe that clean whole foods will give me all the proper nutrition I need.

On another subject… what do you think about the WHO’s declaration that processed meats (sausages, ham, deli meat), as well as preserved meats (prosciutto, bacon, Serrano ham) and red meat in general are carcinogenic?

The world's reaction.

I've been trying to read the study, but I can’t find it anywhere and though I can imagine processed meats being really unhealthy (those chemicals aren't a joke) I see no reason for organic red meat (natural or cured) to be unhealthy within reasonable rations, so I don’t know what to make of this, especially since these kind of things are very political matters and powerful companies can, and do by this type of studies.  Did Tyson and the poultry industry paid for this? Or perhaps it was the pork industry? I don’t know.

Do you know why was red meat considered carcinogenic? Are you going to stop eating these food items, or you don’t care about these kind of things?

Aniversary (17.4.0) and Some of My Firsts

Today is a very special day for me: it’s my wedding anniversary (4 years) and it’s also the anniversary for when we started dating, so we call it our how-long-we've-been-together-versary and the answer is 17 years.  

Yep, we've been together for 17 years, the same amount of years we had when we started dating and yes, we are high school sweethearts.

We met at our senior year in high school and we've been together since then.  It was also a Wednesday, October 21^st 1998 when we became a couple. On that same day but on 2010, we got engaged and a year later in 2011, we got married, all on October 21^st.

This is not us... it could be if we ever took our pictures.

 One thing I really love is that I shared with him a lot of firsts: my first Happy Meal, the first time I went trick or treating, the first time I went downtown to watch the Christmas lights and Santa booths, my first store-bought Halloween costume, my first zombie walk and so many others.

But not only that, I also finished high school, started and finished my Psychology studies, learnt to drive, moved out from my parent’s house to my own flat, adopted cats, wrote my first and subsequent movie and series scripts, planned for the zombie apocalypse and started and quitted smoking, all of these with him by my side.

I've been with him when he finished high school, when he started and finished his maths and communication studies, when he got his first job and all his promotions, when he moved out from his parent’s home to live with me, when his brother got married and through all the births of his nieces and nephews.

We've shared a lifetime together and I would love to share with him and only him rest of what I have left to live.

Thanks for being my best mate, the love of my life, the reason behind my smile and the best partner in crime I could have ever asked for. 

Thanks for sharing your time in this world with me. 

Time to Slow Down

Everything was fine on Monday.  I woke up feeling a little off, but nothing to be concerned about, except maybe the extra 2 lbs I was carrying.  My day at work was normal and when I got home I did my 14 day yoga shred challenge from Do You Yoga.  But just as I finished I started seeing lights and feeling light-headed. I ate some amaranth with yoghurt and raisins and I started to feel a bit better.

Actual picture of me

But at 2:45 am it was a different story: I had a terribly upset stomach and I started to throw up as if there was no tomorrow.  Same story at 3:30 am and 5:00 am.  Needless to say, I skipped work. 

After that (I guess curiosity got the best of me) I was 5 lbs lighter, 3 lbs if you disregard Monday's  weight in. 

I was feeling terrible and I couldn't do my workouts, but this reminded me that sometimes you just have to slow down and listen to your body. 

Today I feel a lot better, I did my morning workout and I think this might be a normal day again. 

A Busy Bee Weekend and Q & A About Me Part 3

Well, this was a mighty busy weekend.

On Friday, the hubby and I went to our appointment with our tattoo artist to talk about what we want and the design we wish for and to book an appointment.    He is crazy busy so I got mine on December 5^th and my husband got his on March 4^th!  How sad, I really wanted to have my tattoo by next week.

On Saturday, we went to a market to buy Halloween stuff and afterwards to a costume and make up store to buy our supplies.  In the evening, we went to our Ataraxia concert which had 2 other groups performing.  It was an amazing concert and I was glad to listen to these classic medieval groups and that we had the chance to AGAIN see live this fantastic but unknown group, Ataraxia.

She is weird, but what an amazing voice!

On Sunday I was extra tired and had a constant headache all day long, but that didn't stop us from decorating the hell out of our home to be ready for Halloween.  

Demon Skull

We finished all at 11:30 pm and of course, when I got up at 5:00 am in the morning today, I was so sleepy and almost a zombie myself.

I hope I can go to bed early today so I won’t be as tired tomorrow.

Well, here is the last part of the weird questions I've been answering!

Q: Tomorrow will be better because…

A: I’ll keep taking care of myself and I’ll strive to be better at this “healthy lifestyle” thing, so every day I’ll be a better me and tomorrow I’ll be happier, healthier and stronger.

Q: What made today unusual?

A: Ghosts. I was having a rather weird conversation with my sister about ghosts and astral projections. Though I don’t believe in ghosts, I grew up in a very scary old house where a lot of weird things happened.  My sister is a true believer of the supernatural (whether she admits it or not) and it was a rather unusual conversation for a Monday morning.

Q: What are you looking for from life?

A: Happiness. I want to enjoy the rest of my life the way I've never been able to.  I enjoyed some things, lots of things, but not as fully as I deserve. Damn you depression, bugger off!

Q: What is your favourite thing to drink?

A: Tea. I love to drink caffeinated black or red tea in the morning, sometimes make it a chai latte; after lunch I love a mint tea and in the afternoon/evening I sip on caffeine free herbal infusions like strawberry, passion fruit, peach and mango. I even have an amazing super geek TARDIS mug for my office teas.

TARDS Mug and Chocolate-Mint Tea

Q: Today the temperature was…

A: Very cold! I love it. We are having like a million cold fronts and this means we have cloudy skies and rather cold temperatures, which is by the way, my favourite weather.

Q: How much did you spend at the grocery store the last time you went?

A: A tad more than the average Joe. I buy organic and it doesn't come cheap here, as it isn't a trendy or popular choice. We are one of the countries with the worst obesity epidemics and malnutrition at the same time… and I don’t see a near future where this changes.  But I’ll choose the best option for myself and my family, no matter the cost.  It’s just like adding the cost of a pizza night every week, but on produce and healthy groceries.

Q: Tomorrow I will…

A: Wake up early and work out first thing in the morning. Then I’ll have a healthy big breakfast and start my day with good things and choices for myself.

Q: What was your last major purchase?

A: My Kikki K Planner.  It is AMAZING!!! I love it and all the other accessories I bought with it. I is an expensive planner, but I think it’s worth it and I adore it. Can't wait for December to arrive so I can start using it.

This is my Kikki K!

Q: My house is a home because…

A: Because of my family: my husband, the best husband ever in the history of husbands and my 4 adorable cats.  They make my life worth living and they give me unconditional and unending love every day.  And of course, I love them back just as much.

Q: Who is the last person to tell you they loved you?

A: My husband. He told me that he loves me this morning and I love him too.

Well, this is it.  These were the last questions and I had fun answering them.  They are a bit random and some were right on weird, but it was a very interesting way of letting you know a little more about me and my life.  I hope you like this and feel free to answer the questions on the comments.

Q & A About Me Part 2

OK! Time to get to know me a bit more, here are the next 10 weird questions about me.

Q: What’s your favourite accessory?

A: My engagement and wedding ring combo.  I LOVE them so much. My engagement ring is white gold and a solitary diamond, very simple and classic. On the other hand, my wedding ring is a bit crazy: it’s a black tungsten Lord of the Rings wedding band.  We wanted a film related ring and the must fantastic one is by far The One Ring from LoTR, so we went with that idea, and my husband’s favourite colour is black, so black it was. Inside it has an inscription with our wedding date and the outside letters in the language of Mordor are silver.  It stands out and shows our personality.

Q: What is making you mad?

A: That I don’t have enough time with my husband.

Q: What did you have for dinner today?

A: It’s early in the morning, so it’ll have to be yesterday’s dinner. I had oat bran with yogurt and home made strawberry jam. De-li-cio-us!

Q: What did you get done?

A: Our Halloween Party invitations.  This year’s design was based on Andrea Vesalius’ anatomy studies. It is called: L’Anatomie Macabre Présente: la Nuit des Morts Vivants, AKA The Macabre Anatomy Presents: The Night of the Living Dead. It’s quite radical, if I say so myself.

The illustration that accompanies the invitation

Q: Who last called you on the phone?

A: My sister. We live in different cities and we try to chat almost every day. It’s been almost 3 years since we last saw each other, so we Skype, talk on the phone or chat as frequent as we can.  She is the only family I have left and we've always been good friends.

Q: Who are you in love with?

A: Easy, my husband.  I've been in love with him for 17 years and it just grows every day. He is the best!

Q: The best part of today was…

A: Doing something nice for myself. I woke up at 5 am to workout before I leave for work, as I've been doing for the last 2 months. The first thing on my schedule is me: I do a small workout before anything else happens and that way I'm ready to tackle the day.  In the evening I do another workout before dinner and call it a day.

Q: My current favourite website is…

A: Kikki K’s website! I just love it there.  I would LOVE to buy more things for my planner so I go there to drool all over their beautiful stationary, stickers, accessories and more.  Dear Santa, please bring me this Christmas more Kikki K products!

Q: What was the hardest thing you've ever had to deal with?

A: Uff, this is a tough one… not that I don’t know the most difficult thing in my life, but it’s a tricky subject.  The worst in my life was my family.  I grew up in an environment full of psychological and emotional violence and abuse, and sometimes, as a cherry on top, physical violence as well (I have the scars to show).  I never really knew how bad it was, I just assumed everyone else was going through the same things and we all pretended we were a perfect family when we were in public.  It took me years and years to realize it wasn't normal and that it was not OK. In my country we are supposed to live with our parents until we get married (especially women) and Universities don’t have campuses or places to stay, because you are supposed to still live with your parents. I couldn't afford school on my own, so I stayed with my parents until I got my degree and then left to live alone. Even after that I kept seeing them, as it was my obligation, but 2 years and 7 months ago I had this big conflict with them that was the last straw, the last thing to push me over the edge and I broke contact with them for good.  It’s been a rough couple of years, not because I feel bad about stop talking to them (oh, no… it’s the best thing I've ever done in my life) but it was the time that took me to purge all the poison they left inside my mind. All their hatred and loathing was introjected in my mind and became self-hate and self-loathing, so I had to heal from the inside out and I believe I'm finally out of the storm.  It was hard but it was worth it.  If you are in an abusive relationship, it doesn't matter who it is (parent, couple, children, work) step away from it and never return. You deserve better.

Q: Today I wish I had more…

A: Sleeping hours. I love sleeping until late, preferably after 10 am but I can’t and I miss sleeping in.

OK, right in the middle of this!

I hope you find them interesting and you are more than welcomed to answer the questions in the comment section. 

Q & A about me Part 1

So, someone sent me some questions and I thought to share the answers here. There are 30+ questions so I’ll be sharing in sets of 10.

Q: What is your number one goal this year?

A: For 2015 what I want to accomplish is the anchoring of good habits.  I started a weight loss journey this May and little by little I started to replace old bad habits like smoking and being sedentary for new good habits like eat wholesome foods and become active. I’m still transitioning between an obese type I-smoking-coach potato to the ideal active mindful eater I want to become, so that’s why this year’s main goal is to transform these changes into habits.  Of course, for next year my main goal is to reach my ideal weight and fitness level and keep it that way.  I feel fantastic with all the changes in the last 5 months and the loss of 21 lbs so far.

Q: What are you must grateful for?

A: My husband, hands down.  He is the best person in the whole world: brilliant, passionate, hard working, sweet, funny and talented.  We've been married for almost 4 years (our anniversary is next Wednesday, October 21^st) but we've shared our lives as a couple for 17 years. He’s been by my side through thick and thin being my port and strength every time I was lost. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and unknowingly he has saved my life more times than I care to count. Thank you Universe for letting me share my life with the must fantastic being in all of time and space.

Q: Are you content?

A: No. I'm truly happy right now, but not content.  I still want to change myself so much from the inside and out to keep growing and undo the damage I let others and myself inflict upon me.

Q: What is your best memory of last year?

A: Our Halloween party.  I loved my make up and felt both creepy and beautiful.  Our decorations and crafts came out amazing and I enjoyed so much doing all these things with the hubby. Halloween is our favourite holiday and I had the best time ever planning everything and making food, decorations, cocktails and costumes all month long.

My Make up

Q: What was the last major accomplishment you had?

A: Landing my new job.  It is a senior management at an international bank with a very nice salary and interesting projects. I don’t love working in the financial environment, or for that matter at an office, but a job is a job and it pays the bills, makes me proud and gives us financial tranquillity.  Also, I lost 21 lbs, quit smoking and started working out every day! Not too shabby, right?

Q: What possession could you not live without?

A: My book collection. I have so many memories and friends between those pages that I can’t imagine losing them.  I could buy another one, but it won’t be the same.  These are my books, there are many like these, but these are mine, my own, my preciouses. And now my geek is leaking.

Q: Can people change?

A: Yes and no. I believe we can change superficial things, but the core of our “self” remains the same. I am changing a lot of things about myself, but right at the core, I’ll remain me.  If you are a good person, you can change a lot of things, but you’ll still be a good person; but if you are mean… doesn't matter how many times you say you’ll change, you won’t.

Q: What is the last “good” thing you ate?

A: My breakfast!  100% organic and home made: 2 sunny side up eggs on top of rice bread, and yoghurt with grapes and sugar/sweetener free home made strawberry jam.

Q: What is your current favourite snack?

A: Oat bran. It’s yummy, healthy, great texture and versatile, it can go sweet or savoury and is so filling I don’t go hungry for hours.  

Q: What made you smile today?

A: My cats.  They make me smile every day with their shenanigans, cuteness and love. I have 4 cats: 1 boy, Frijol and 3 girls, Gaïa, Camillè and Calliope.  Frijol and Gaïa are brothers from the same litter and we adopted them from a shelter when they were 5 weeks old. Camillè AKA Bombi was also adopted from the same shelter when she was 5 months old. She has PTSD of some sort but is learning to be calmer.  Our youngest is Calliope AKA Piña. We rescued her from the street when she was a wee 1 month old kitten.  She is happiness embodied and the must crazy lovable creature on earth.

So… these are the first 10 questions about myself I’ll be posting here.  I hope you find them interesting and you are more than welcome to share your answers in the comments. 

Ink, Ink and Now More New Ink.

I LOVE tatoos.  All kind of tattoos. 

This is one beautiful piece of art.

If they are beautiful, well done and interesting, it's art, but if they are in the wrong place, terribly done or just plain horrible, they are hilarious!

What the hell!

I have 2 tattoos.  

My first one is an Elder Sign on my back, because I ADORE everything Lovecraftian.  I'm a big fan of his horror tales and I'm also plagued with chaos in my life, so I decided I wanted to conmemorate being a bookworm fan and to have something to protect me from all this chaos. 

This photo is from my wedding day. Love it!

My second tattoo is a moon on my left arm.  My husband has the sun and together the tattoos are both corny and beautiful.

The Moon and the Sun

And soon, very VERY soon I'm getting my 3rd tattoo!

Now, for this 3rd tattoo I'm going with a compass, feathers, and sort of a gush of wind. It will be my first coloured tattoo and the first on my foot.  I find it fitting to have a travelling symbol on my foot to remind me to keep moving and feed my wanderlust. 

This Friday I have a pre-appointment with my tattoo artist (this is a must) to talk about design and ideas and next week I'll have it tattooed. 

I'll post pictures of the process and the finished product as well.  Wish me luck because they say that the placement I chose is pretty painful. 

I'm waiting a week between the design and the tattoo itself because I have a concert this Saturday.  I'm going to see Ataraxia again and they are AMAZING!

Francesca Nicoli, Lead Singer for Ataraxia

My husband also just told me that we have tickets to the Iron Maiden concert next year!!!! My favourite metal band of all times. 

Fantastic and Bad ass!

I'm exited with all these good news and I wanted to share them with you.

Do you have tattoos? Do you love them, but don't have them? Do you regret one?  How about your love for Iron Maiden?

Half and Half

After a terrible depression and a lot of health issues, I turned my life around fairly recently.  One of the biggest changes I made and what I think is been a part of my slow but steady success is a mindset change.

I always had an all or nothing point of view that never allowed any chance to make a mistake... or if I made one, it wasn't worth trying again and that was it.

Of course with my weight it was the same approach.  When I was a kid I was supper skinny, I ate everything and enjoyed my food.  I had fruits and vegetables, meat, butter, eggs, bacon... everything.  Well, everything but processed foods.

When I became a teen, I was bombarded with body expectations and for the first time, I started to worry about what I ate, but not on a good way. I started to eliminate food like diary, fats, carbs, protein... all until everything I ate in a day was an apple, plain water and sugar free bubblegum. 

Of course I was super thin, but I also messed up my metabolism (damn me, I'm not sure I'll ever forgive me for this) and was extremely unhealthy. 

After a few miserable years like this, I met new friends and they ate a lot, so I started eating again, but not the good-for-you kind of food, but just junk.  So I would binge-eat a lot of junk food one day and starve another (furthering my metabolism murder spree).

Fast forward some years and I was obese, overeating processed foods, sedentary, smoking like there is no tomorrow and horribly, terribly depressed.

I think I was right there with Hulk Hogan, but 0 muscle

Now I decided that a mistake is just that, and it won't affect my next decision, nor the next one.  I can eat super healthy, organic, sugar/sweet free, process free food must of the time, so if I mess it up one meal or day, it doesn't matter, I'll keep choosing the good stuff for myself. 

I'm down 2 lbs this week.  19.5 lbs since I started choosing better things for myself.  I still have around 42 lbs to loose, but that's OK, I can wait and do this the slow but healthy and sure way. Now my goal isn't being thin.  My goal is health: no more cigarettes (checked!), start to exercise and do it everyday (checked!), eat healthy food (checked!), stop eating the processed shit made in factories (checked!), stop poisoning yourself with sugar and fructose (this is still going on, I've been OK for a while, but Halloween is coming and I'm not sure if I'll make it).

It's a god damned slow process but I'm glad that I made the choice to take this journey to self discovery, balance, health and improvement. I'm through the first third and I'm sure all these changes are for the best and I'm on my way to better things.